life is a risk

Cris had arrived. After all that butterflies in my stomach bugging me for the past days, he’s finally back and I just feel so relieved because I did worry about almost everything. Like what if the plane crashed, what if he met accident. Maybe it’s just like that when you care for someone so much that you always dread losing him.

We attended the mass yesterday and I just love the homily. It’s about taking risks. The priest said that life is really a risk. That sometimes you have to go out of your comfort zone, to be a little more adventurous, to whisk away all the worries, because that is what life all about.

I would have to say that I haven’t such an adventurous in my whole life. I am always on guard. Even with the food I ate, I dare not try on new recipes because in my mind I believed that I wouldn’t like it. So why even bother tasting it!! Even with my relationships with people, I will not open up myself easily. And yet, I know that there are really things that I can still do but I choose not to try. The reason maybe is that I am happy with my life now. So why would I complicate the uncomplicated??

I will not call my marriage with my husband as a risk because since then, he was just too perfect for me and in my heart I know he will never get me hurt. Maybe what becomes a risk is that despite scenes of broken homes, battered wives and failing relationships in our society, I choose to tie the knot. Maybe you really have to take a risk sometimes, but for me love has always been a calculated risk. We were given the freedom to pick-out the best for us. We can always opt for wrong or right. There may be circumstances when we have to fail but at all times I will prefer to move on than sulk in one corner. In my heart I constantly keep a space for hopes, for all that someday and somewhere.

Of course, I am not completely timid. If only I can afford I would have love to try bungee jumping or skydiving or roam all over the world and scale mountains and seas. It’s just that I am bounded with priorities. So it wasn’t just because I am not daring enough to try things. It’s because I still have many things that need to be done first.

And yes, I just cannot put myself at risk because I love the people around me. If taking risk to achieve more happiness will mean hurting other people in the process, I rather have my life remain this way.

Just like what the priest had said that the Lord would always be there when we are at the edge of the cliff. It's either He will catch us when we fall or He will teach us how to fly. And i believe that. I can go on taking life's risk if it is within what God only allows.