the seaman's life

“Nag-asawa ka pa kasi ng seaman.” It became a running joke between Crissy and me. To which he would often add too, “Ang hirap talaga magka-asawa ng Master’s in Communication Arts”. I will tell him every time that someday I want to write a blog about “Ang pigado na pangabuhi ‘kon bana sang seaman”, which means how difficult it is to be a seaman’s wife.       Being wife to a seaman and having worked in an agency for seamen before, more or less, I have idea of what seaman’s life is all about. I’ve heard countless stories from my husband, our mutual friends, and my own friends who share the same occupation. Before, the only idea I have about them was they’re lucky to be traveling free, they have a girl in every port, and they have plenty of money. Little by little, I came to an understanding that what I have thought of them are mere generalizations. The very first of course is that they don’t have plenty of money. It is more apt to say “hard-earned money” for they say in every dollar, euro, or whatever that they earned; it meant real hard work and some times risking their lives. Often we had the wrong connotation about their being financially well off just because some tend to be the so-called “one day millionaire.” Upon arrival, they would display extravagance and would have the endless drinking sessions but it’s only the family who will know that even before they can go onboard again, they are already in debt. Sometimes it’s a pity for the seaman who works hard for the money but his family way back home is spending it as if they’ll never run out of cash. True enough that they do receive a handsome salary compared here but if not frugally budgeted, it wouldn’t be enough. Not because I got a husband who’s a seaman, I will say that seamen don’t have a girl in every port. I’ve seen also how devoted my seaman friends to their families are and they say they won’t even think doing that. They will not let a fleeting fancy took away their hard earned money. They have this running joke that “Hindi na seaman ang manloloko, seaman na ang niloloko”. This was because of stories of wives/girlfriends who had betrayed them. It is so alarming to note, but it really it had become rampant. I can never justify that for who I am to comment. I laugh upon hearing anecdotes of seaman’s life, but deep within, it also disturbs me. Crissy told me one time how his co-worker convince his wife to awaken their sleeping baby and let it cry. Yet, upon hearing the baby cry, he was laughing and crying at the same time on the phone. There was this story too that when a seaman just arrived, his wife will prepare his breakfast with all her delight. But after three months, she will prepare the breakfast together with the documents and send her husband to apply. To my surprise when I told Crissy about news archives I’ve read about a ship hijacked in Haiti, and he said that he was actually on that ship. You see, before the emergence of the roaming capabilities of mobile providers, it was that hard communicating with him.                                        Modern communications had someone ease the lives of families apart from each other though it cannot surpass the comfortable feeling of having them around. I will not cry my heart out and put into details how difficult life it is to be a seaman’s wife. I don’t have the business complaining because even if he may not be present here at all times, he has made his presence felt in many ways. If I tell him to stop going onboard, I will not only deprive him the chance to have that handsome salary but I will be taking away his passion and happiness. He loves his profession and it is where he finds his purpose in life and for that reason alone I will continue to embrace the fact that some times a married life have to be live apart if that’s what the situation calls for. Just a note…it’s really just a joke when I tell him that it’s so difficult to be a seaman’s wife (I guess at any rate, occupation wouldn’t matter if he’s your husband) and that I have masters in Comm. Arts. Pang-asar niya lang ‘yon sa akin. (if why, just leave it to us)….