promises

Things You Didn't Do
by: Author Unknown, Source Unknown

Remember the day I borrowed your brand new car and I dented it?

I thought you'd kill me but you didn't.

And remember the time I dragged you to the beach and you said it would rain and it did?

I thought you'd say, "I told you so", but you didn't.

Do you remember the time I flirted with all the guys to make you jealous and you were.

I thought you'd leave me, but you didn't.

Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry pie all over your car rug.

I thought you'd hit me but you didn't.

And remember the time I forgot to tell you the dance was formal and you showed up in jeans?

I thought you'd drop me. But you didn't.

Yes, there were lots of things you didn't do.

But you put up with me and you loved me and you protected me

.

(There were lots of thing I wanted to make up to you when you returned from Vietnam.

But you didn't.)

Since ours is a long distance relationship, all that keeps us going to move on our lives miles from each other are promises. Promises that next time around we will have time together, that when he will be here again we will chat up to the wee hours of the morning, or that I will cook for him something special as soon as he comes back. We even make promises to have a better sexual relationship. We had open communication about it since then. Long before we got married he was always been so particular of what he wanted us to have or how will our life be after the wedding vows. It was as simple as thinking that we will always do the groceries together on weekends to grand as dreaming of a vacation house where we will drive off on holidays.

We had experienced being apart for many times now, and whenever he just left, we will begin texting again of why those promises were never fulfilled. After some petty arguments, we would then meet a common ground and just hope that the next time we’re together things will happen as we please. But then, it wasn’t being dissataisfied of what happened between us. I guess, it is more of both of us just can’t get enough of each other. There disappointments rise and I sometimes I would even asked myself if I have not done enough. But I would immediately shy away from those thoughts. For still his frustrations is a manifestation of his love. If he had the choice he wouldn’t leave me again. And it feels sad that I can’t do anything about it either.

Then I’ll give him my promises again. I would even have promise him the moon and the stars if only I can. Because I owe him a lot and making him happy is what I can only offer. I did cause him pain;  for some times I can just be so irritating, often I fail to acknowledge his worth, but he never grew tired of me. Oh sure, he pissed me off many times too. But when I start to declare a cold war, he would right away bow down to please my desires.

Well, I do hope to make up with him. And isn’t a promise anymore. I wouldn’t let another year pass again. When he comes back, I will him give him all the love not because he deserves to have it but here in my heart it was always I genuinely have for him. Hope it isn’t too late yet.